In case you missed it, this post has been floating
around the interwebs: http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/
I think it sucks. So
here is my version.
I have
some information that is probably of no interest to you, because you are busy
living your own life. But just in case you are unusually bored today and have nothing
better to do, I will continue. My son is
only 12 weeks old and not really that in to social media at this point in time,
but let’s pretend he is almost grown and really into Facebook, or whatever you
youngsters are into nowadays.
It has come to my attention that some families sit around
the dinner table passing around their I Phone (version 20s, I suppose). This seems
fairly odd to me, but I suppose this may be a normal occurrence once I have an
adolescent boy. Whatever. But let’s say we were doing this and for whatever
reason decided to internet stalk young girls…
We noticed you weren’t
wearing a bra. Don’t you love that feeling of freedom? My favorite thing to do
at the end of the day is to take off my bra. Or sometimes not because I was never wearing
one to begin with. It just depends. My son may or may not have noticed. He
probably wouldn’t feel the need to comment on it anyway because, crazy story,
he has nipples too! And he knows what breasts are. He spent the first few years
of his life attached to mine. He knows what they are for and that they do
amazing things to feed young people. He knows they are part of the body and the
body is beautiful in its myriad of shapes and forms. He also knows that people,
him included, can wear whatever the hell they want and it says nothing about
them other than that is what they felt like wearing that day.
We also noticed that
you were posing a certain way. Far be it from me to assume your intentions,
and it really is none of my business. But if for some reason you were trying to
be sexy, I want you to know that it is okay and perfectly normal. You are
entering a time in your life when you are exploring your new-found sexuality. I
hope you have had mentors in your life that have taught you how to do this in a
healthy and age appropriate way and I hope you enjoy this new aspect of your
life. I hope this for my son, too.
So, please
understand that we don’t intend to make a habit of stalking you on Facebook,
because let’s face it- that’s kind of creepy. Unless of course you decide to
friend me or something, which would make
me feel hip and kind of cool again. And know that whatever interaction you have
with my son in private will remain private unless he decides to share them with
me. Because he is his own person and I trust him and the fact that he has a Facebook demonstrates
that I think he is mature enough to handle it.
You posts reflect
the part of you that you want to share with people and all of those facets of
yourself wonderful. They do not retract at all from any other aspect of
yourself- intelligence, beauty, and kindness.
But here is the
bummer- some people may judge you. They may tell you that you don’t have the
right to be yourself. That there is something shameful about your body or that
you are somehow responsible for how their children react you. They may even
have the audacity to post a picture of their half-naked son in the same post as
they are telling you to put some clothes on. I just want you to know that it’s bullshit. They
are hypocritical, judgmental, and misogynist. You are only responsible for you.
So wear whatever you
want and do whatever you want. My son will decide if he would like to be
friends with you based on your character, not your profile picture. And if he
does treat you like an object, please let me know because I raised him better.
This may sound odd,
but you see- in our family we respect each other as unique individuals who have
control over their own bodies. If my son decides to linger over your picture, that
is his choice and if I for some reason have a problem with that, I will hold
him accountable, not you.
I spend time
thinking about who my boy will love, and I don’t assume that person will have a
vagina. I only hope that the person will love him and encourage him in life,
and that my son will love this person for their heart and not how they choose
to dress themselves. In the meantime, I hope he also gets the chance to explore
his own sexuality and grow as a person and not feel wrong or dirty or
dishonorable for acknowledging his real emotions.
If you decide to
dress differently or act differently- don’t be afraid to try new things. Just
make sure you are doing it for yourself and not to fit into any predetermined
labels seeking to ascertain your worth. You can’t control other people’s
imaginations.
There are plenty of
people out there who love you for exactly who you are.
Just be yourself.
Love,
Roxanne
*slow clap*
ReplyDelete*bows* Why thank you! :)
Delete